Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize