Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
