Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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