You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
