You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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