I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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