And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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