Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
