He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
