I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
