You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
