How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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