Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
