I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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