You can't motorboat a personality
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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