her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he fucked my hip out of place.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
