Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
