I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
