I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
