found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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