You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
