I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
