i barfeds in our rink
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
