My room smells like vodka and shame
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
