How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
