Well douche your snatch and let's go!
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
