I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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