For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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