im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
