dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
