She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
