all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
