and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize