she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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