We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
