Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
