I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The beer is more important than you right now.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
