Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
