i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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