Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
