Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
