New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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