i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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