how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
