i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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