you have to choose: penises or morals?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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