I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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