Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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