I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
