kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
please come you make the beer taste better
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
