you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
