Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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