Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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