I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
