I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize