You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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