you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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