Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
