THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
